Step 1: Get a brain! (a brain "mold" that is.) Get your brain mold at Party Supermarket or Halloween Express or Spirit Halloween or any other Halloween store around Halloween time. I've also seen them at Orientaltrading.com for only $3.99 (search for item number IN-25/1706). Or pay $5.99 and get a brain, complete with two hands! There's a particularly goopy looking one for $13.95 at YankeeHalloween.com (item number GSM1LBR). They've got hearts and hands and eyes and faces and all sorts of creepy stuff there. And one of my all time favorite places to buy stuff: FrightCatalog.com has a great one for $8.99 this year.

Last but certainly not least is the Anatomical Chart Company. Not only do they have awesome brains but they have skulls and skeletons and all sorts of excellent Halloween items. I suggest that you get VERY familiar with what they have to offer.

Step 2: Get your ingredients together.
Here's what you're going to need:
• One (10 3/4-ounce) can, cream of mushroom or cream of chicken soup (Any "cream of..." soup will do)
• 8 ounces Philadelphia cream cheese, softened
• .5 ounce unflavored gelatin, softened in 1/3 cup hot water
• 3 pounds cooked shrimp or 1 pound crab meat, finely chopped
• 1 cup mayonnaise (I use Kraft Real Mayonnaise. Miracle Whip or "Salad Dressing" is too sweet for this recipe)
• 1 Tablespoon lemon juice
• Liquid Smoke (optional. See NOTES below)
• FLESHFEAST, FLESHFEAST 2, FLESHFEAST 3 or GHOUL DROOL hot sauce to taste.

Step 3: Prepare your brain.
Here's how:
• Lightly oil your brain mold so that your ingredients won't stick later.
• Heat the soup, undiluted, and mix in the cream cheese.
• Stir in softened gelatin and blend well.
• Fold in remaining ingredients (except hot sauce) and pour into your lightly-oiled brain mold.
• Chill until firm (overnight is best).
• To ease in the removal from the mold, set it in a sink with some warm water for a minute or two. Place a plate or serving platter over the mold and carefully flip it all over. The brain should plop right out onto the platter!

Splatter FLESHFEAST and/or GHOUL DROOL hot sauce on top of your brain for a bloody or green "drooly" effect and serve w/ your favorite chips. I use Whole Wheat Tostitos and Blue Corn Tostitos chips to resemble bruised and dried flesh strips! Depending on the size of your brain mold, this recipe will make 1-2 "brains" so have something ready to pour any leftovers into before it gels.

THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DONE!

NOTES:
• The last time I prepared this recipe I decided that the cream of chicken soup version is waaaay better than the cream of mushroom soup version. Something about the mushroom flavor and the brain shape was a bit too much for some people to take.

• Secondly, after I took the brain out of the mold, I painted the entire thing with Hickory flavored Liquid Smoke. If you're not familiar with Liquid Smoke, it's a brown liquid that adds a smoky flavor to anything it touches. It's found in the sauce aisle in your local supermarket. It seeps into the crevices of your "brain" and makes them stand out a little more. I like the smoky flavor...it fit our Texas Chainsaw Chili Cookoff Halloween party theme nicely! I've also received emails from people who've tried Dale's Steak Seasoning or teriyaki sauce instead of the liquid smoke. Those are pretty salty so use your own discretion.

• The chips broke when people tried to dip 'em so serve your brain with some knives for spreading.

• Display a small sign next to your brain that says: "Smoked Brain with Bruised & Dried Flesh Strips". On the back of the sign, list the actual ingredients so people know what they're digging into...and if they're allergic to any of it.

DOWNLOAD THAT SIGN HERE.